Seven deadly sins posts...

You've heard of them haven't you?

How if you commit one then you will burn in hell?

Now everyone here at tantrums and tales would like to bring to you the brand new initiatve that involves the commisioning of the seven deadly sins for applicable and beneficial daily usage. We believe that sins are simply states of being, functions, if you will of the spectrum of human capabilty, they are causal and therefore have no basis in black and white ideas of capital vice and cardinal sin

Envy - Invidia

Take an ordinary dinner situation, imagine that Imhotep is eating a burger and Jane is eating some caviar - now Jane and Imhotep love each other very much (so we can already see how vice can be undermined) now Jane scoops the caviar into her gob and begins to munch on the tasty fish eggs, green eyed Imhotep surveys the scene and looks sadly at his burger.

Yet generous Jane sees Imhotep's predicament and scoops some fish eggs onto his plate and Immi as she has affectionately dubbed him muches greedily, now Jane, who has by now got very fishy breath and a sulty tongue feels the need for some juicy relief! so while Imhotep is emmersed in his caviar Jane takes a big bite out of the burger - the result

Sharing!

Now Jane and Imhotep are happy, so could you!

Midweek limbo

Hmm,

Having a pants day really, no explicable reason for this state of affairs... Paranoia becomes a dangerous new friend and all things tangible and infinite take on a slightly hollower feel that resemble a crisp morning where the dew on the ground quickly turns into a slick of mud..

Frustration is the palpable by-product of having just a plain shit day as it stems from the predictable position that one finds themselves in...moaning at yourself because you've got alot to be grateful for and wanting to say "fuck that" life is my party and ill cry if i want to but later choking on your own sensibilities like a hen eating an iron - glunk!

So had an okay weekend, Helen left after farewell dinner which had all the confetti, bad language, parafanalia that a leaving thing should have, i think that a three course meal was very much appreciated by rats and friends many of whom were hungover including me after yes..you've guessed it.. a whisky and wine binge the night before, unplanned as it was but Helsie had the final say on that (unsurprisngly)

Also fit in a visit to my dear niece Maya's first birthday back in Southampton, saw many old friends inlcuding spiky haired Pascal, sisters Lilah and Becky and Khalid who seems to have stolen my librarian with an edge fashion look for his own..

I realise that i've never mentioned my family much on here... Thats not very nice of me i don't think, i don't mean to say that im going to start a regular feature on any of them but i could make this blog a little more informative..Maybe this diary needs a re-think...maybe i've got too much time on my hands as there is simply nothing to do at work today..still, id like to be a nicer person though.

So here i stand rooted to the centre of the week, the centre of the week blues are really strong and the feeling of limbo is palpable, maybe tonights cinema visit will clear these feelings but i don't know..meh!

I hate shit days that have no reason to be shit....

Happy sparkly friend song

Friends are there....
To turn you around
Put your feet on the ground
For a brand new day

Friends are there
To help you get by
And bring you pie
When things aren't great

Friends are there when you need them
There even there when you don't
Like a walk in the park
or a shot in the dark
Friends are there
And don't they care
For YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Don't you just love blue on a ornage background?

I love you friends XxXxXxXxXX

Writers block everyone? Not on my watch

Fellow blophets?

Hello?

Are you there?

I CAN'T HEAR YOU... Sorry, slightly warped today after going to watch Texas chainsaw massacre the beginning, oh the delightful gore of it, the horror and pain i actually think that the sheriff is a billion times worse then the kid with the chainsaw i mean think about it..

1) Chainsaw man is an alchemist and probably in the pay of the NHS department of pioneering medical surgery techniques
2) Chainsaw man actually spends a lot of time downstairs keeping quiet and generally staying out of people's way
3) Chainsaw man deosn't seem to need to eat so would make a good pet and guard dog
4) Chainsaw man is my friend

But anyway i digress.... The main point of this post is to moan about the lack of posts within our fledgling blog community.. Apart from noble Boo i havent been hearing a peep out of our fellow burners and although Leo can be excused possibly it's just not good enough!

Oh but what's this I hear you say "We have lives" "We don't have the time" "I'm bored of my blog" "I've got nothing to say" all of the usual lazy mumbo jumbo,

Now you listen here you crumy lot, i could be passed out on a bean bag with leg for an arm and an arm for a leg fucked on K with a belt doubling up as a G-string and i'd still find the time to post on this bloody thing so you can too!

Yes sir! three bags full sir! You don't want a meeting with a chainsaw do you? NOW YOUR LISTENING! That's right fellows.. reclaim your titles as the greatest blophets in the universe and join me in the stratosphere as we tower above the world wide web arms aloft and our heads held high.

You have the power!

The genre spanner

So last Friday i had to interview my dear friends Mcfly - chart stalwarts and successors to the throne of Busted, the principle teen pop band - Was i impressed? No.... Was i overawed... No?

It shocks me that the people i work with in this new world of mainstream mass media celebrity orientated pap actually really love this music... I can't understand it, its such manufactured and superficial nonsense but it embraced so clandestintly amongst everyone i've encountered

I remain outside this little noose, i'm sure that the drug of London is what keeps these people so blinkered, careerists for sure, record launch party,stop! hold the press its Emma Bunton's new vid!!! but lovely they are the ones i work with... I'd just love to blow their brains out with a story of naked acid fuelled hippies wandering around masqerading as sea creatures on the dry playa, but i don't think their heads would cope with the counter culture

Or maybe it would, who am i to be so judgemental, i love being in this environment just as much as them... they call me the genre spanner, not really.. im just a spanner!

Anyway its time for this spanner to get himself some lunch..yum yum, food first, thinking second...maybe third after a coffee...

Is this the worst album cover ever?

This album cover has now inspired me and my wife to drop our current careers and move into album design as its obviously not that difficult..

Just a simple mastery of clip art is all you need!

A quiet weekend.. or was it?

Had a quiet weekend... Yep straight up...Quiet...Not much happened

I'm being straight up with you blog acolytes of mine, no more wrapping it in cotton and dressing my life up so it looks like a mime in drag.. Forget about all the fancy stuff i said last week about my life being a sandwich

Its not a sandwich and the highlight of the weekend was going to see Origin where my darling wife is currently lending all of her considerable administrative and front of house skills, she's doing an awards evening tonight..got chauffered... so she'll be back late...Someone has invited me out for a cocktail lesson tonight, Origin was excellent by the way, a funky up and coming events with quite a few clothes exhibits and some more out of the box work, that did lead to some of it being (how shall we say in craft terms) "less developed" then other craft shows like collect but it was charming enough! and it all the exhibitors change this week so it makes me want to go again! how devilish of them!!!!

How very...London it all is, thats right very.....London

Anyway so its been quiet, had a chinese at the weekend, drank a bit, watched England draw 0-0 with Macedonia at home

How very not...London...what do i choose? Nondon

I'm too much of a sit on the fencer so ill choose both but i'm quite happy to be quiet for the moment so i think i might go home and have a fag..it's bloody well late and im still at work

so bye folks...see you again, pretty soon!

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Oh and before i go check out my latest review of the tiny little bird exhibition, ooh i'm such a shameless little tart advertising my own work!! HA HA

http://www.myculturallife.co.uk/articles/165/1/Clare-Twomeys-Trophy-at-the-VA.html

Croaking along, singing my song, dum-dee-dum-dee-dum!!!!!

i'm hungry

I'm tired

ARE WE THERE YET!!!

Yes its the weekend, so much sleep planned, housely goodly husband stuff... service washes and furniture purchases house chores and the like..and also origin, the somerset house craft fair where the wife is working... Fancy, fresh and minty.

Anyway im leaving this strawhouse popsickle stand of an office and blowing out of here like a blue arsed fly!

You got IT! what you've got is IT!

Life is a funny old thing one moment it can look like a dogs arse and next you want to kiss that arse..i'm working in the world of press releases, interviews, pop pap, worldly gays with names like Magnus but yet last night i was soaked in my own sweat in the middle of a chav infested Southampton moshpit with an extremely wasted but alluring drug addled junkie croaking poetic tripe and triumph down the mic..Oh and somewhere in the midst of all of that i managed to fit in an extremely heartfelt clear the air session with my mother.

But luckily because i have the stability of marriage and i am aware that i am a sack of mostly floating water and goo i'm aware of these vast contradictions. My life resembles a sandwich of somekind with all different kinds of filling...i mean i should be excited because chart stalwarts girls aloud are downstairs, everyone else is but i honestly couldnt care, i couldnt give a fuck..i mean at the end of the day they're just sacks of water and piss as well albeit much stupider..

and so the great wheel keeps turning.. booze is consumed, art installations come and go, tube journeys suck away your money and David Cameron wants to outlaw what he calls Muslim ghettos., in conservative Orwellian double speak this is tantamount to a no doubt sledgehammer like policy against the a muslim community he scarcely understands and is pitifully trying to hide his racism..anyway, death to the conservatives.. i mean it goes on doesn't it..

The earthworm burrows
the caterpillar crawls
and the butterfly feeds..

I am at peace..

you've got to have the bad to have the good,
the ying and the yang,
the charlie and the chang,
the bucket and the spade

Who knows,...i love you all

xxx