Collins all round

So this weekend has come to an end, it seemed like a nice fat juicy weekend. One where you let go of your inhibitions and really distance yourself from the mundane nature of the job..

Surprise has been palpable since as I’ve been offered a promotion at work, don't know if ill take it though, the summer exhibition has had its wicked way with me and I’ve got a head like fried toast and a brain like an omelette.

So the weekend was wonderful, so much so that I still have the fake tattoos on my arms that won't wash off. The Scots performed delightfully as ever. One went with us and showered us with gifts love and affection the whole weekend. The other ended up partying his ass off in dispersed with the occasional power nap, his love continues to go around the country and back on himself all over again..

And I’ve eaten shitloads, honestly, the days of walnut belly are gone. Maybe it's the boat, maybe it's the fact that i don't get out enough, Hmm.. I think I must truly become a salvia fiend in order to get truly fucked up...

COLLINS ALL ROUND!

xxx

Jeffrey Archer just made me eat my words...I'm also hungover and grumpy...I need to love more.

Love. xxx

Britain is like a toilet and London is the bottom of the bowl with all the shits of society bobbing on a stagnant swamp of bad manners and self indulgence. Even our very own Prime Minister is called Brown!

It's enough to make you weep, do you know that apparently the death of Diana is still mourned nationwide? I recently read an article by none other then Julie Burchill lamenting her demise. Am I the only one alive who wonders why we are still going on about this so much?

It smacks of the ignorant attitude of so many Royal lovers, they still cling on to the only half decent one we've had in recent times because she retains some kind of credibility and dare i say it, street cred - at least in the glam department. Of course, they want to keep loving the royals because they're all tory twats. But like all Tory twats they are so desperate to be cool like their idol David Cameron.

So they wear cons and worship Diana, they secretly get horny for Philip and the queen but they can't bring that up with their banker friends in the bar after crunching the numbers all day. They crunch and cringe within themselves but never realise it.

Of course, I can't compete with the power of superstar journos like Julie Burchill the fucking legend that she is. Or other journos harping on about the futility of marriage and how every other conceivable traditional pastime that we hold dear in life is really just a chore and a trial.

Over every English person hangs the cloud of inevitable disapointment. Read the newspapers to see what a truly miserable country this place is. We've got a government inventing terrorist plots to scare the nation, journos arguing for infidelity, Salman Rushdie's photo outside Wagamamms's on the South Bank. But that's okay because we've got Diana to remember and a football team to moan about...

Anyone for tennis?..No, fuck off and grow up Britain..

My mumma always told me.
Be a good boy son
Be a good boy, and never play with guns
But I shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die.

And that turned out to be me
With no money or no fun
The lord took my eyeballs
and he took my pride.

The black thorn in the rose bush
Crying tears of blood
Homing in on such a scale
To end the summer of love

And I shot a man in Reno
And he turned out to me
Holding out for all who be
Come on through and fall on me

You will be my saviour today!
Amen to the sweet parade...