To the Man who would be King

Boris Johnson has opened up his campaign to become Mayor of London with perhaps the worst sweeping declaration of any politician in history. His grand plan to win over us voters is to scrap bendy buses should he win the vote. Now whilst bendy buses are large, difficult to manoeuvre and cause congestion they are also very useful in transporting the huge volume of people around London on a daily basis. So what then, does Boris Johnson plan to do with the huge number of bendy buses that he is going to scrap? Where exactly will they go? Didn’t some people somewhere along the line, namely us taxpayers shell out a fortune for these bendy buses?

But in his recent article in the telegraph Boris assures us that this is all okay because scrapping the bendy bus will enable us to bring back the antiquated Routemaster buses in a modern format will help us tackle fair dodgers. Fair dodgers? Is this what Boris expects us to believe, that tackling fair dodgers will balance the books of public money that he is going to blow on his revamp of London transport. Let’s not forget who Boris wants to fund his vast fleet of double deckers. Beneath his fair dodger excuse Boris has offered little further reasoning for scrapping the bendy bus other then paper thin excuses relying on bluster at best and some lame-duck arguments about how uglythey are.

So is this how Boris will base decisions that will have such a massive impact on the economy? It’s enough to make anyone run back into the waiting arms of Ken Livingstone, because let’s face it, whilst Ken may be jacking up the price of an Oyster card every five minutes you can bet that after three months in power, Boris will be looking at his budget sheet and doing exactly the same thing.

P.S I'm a bit sick at the moment so i'm lashing out at all and sundry, i just saw Boris's face on BBC news and had to attack!

Britney smears dinner over face

Reading this headline in the London paper has definitely been a highlight of the week for me. There are times when the slap happy Murdoch inspired way of writing just has you in stitches. This was certainly one of those occasions.

Other highlights include the arrival of my new digital 8-track recorder and the writing of 'It Began As a Mistake' to hail the arrival of Pigee Magoo into the archives of Contracresto's epic history to compliment the beginning of a new musical destiny.

Twas ever thus.

Drinks on Wednesday night and relentless slagging off of the Mobo awards for no particular reason, this was good also and tickled me in ways i've never been tickled.

We also got a free TV and DVD player yesterday, doughnuts anyone?

Yes!

This is my 12th day of work in a row but it's finally the weekend and i feel like a golden god. I even felt good getting on the train today despite Muffin's horrendousy slow and ponderous running which almost made us late.

Running to the train has now become one of life's morning rituals...Nah, i can't be arsed to talk about the morning,it is Friday and i am happy...

Also, look out BM 2008 I am going to unleash an art project the likes of which you have never seen!

Get ready for Smokey Turtle's Water Play Pen! Bring many a water balloon and let the destruction begin.

I don't have much to say today but i thought i should say this...

Why an earth does Boris Johnson want to get rid of bendy buses if he becomes Mayor of London?

What a waste of taxpayers money.. He might cite congestion/tradition/ the environment or whatever but it's just not sense given the volume of people in London and when you've spent all that money on them.

It's exactly the same as concorde when they scrapped that and gave a plethora of semi-relevant reasons (one crashed and that was it! Planes crash - it happens sometimes, move on!!!!) and then allowed countless low-cost budget airlines to flood the market..

Madness, fucking madness..

Notes from a small Island

Well I am back from Bestival and back at work. It's also my anniversary today with Muffin, we are now a year old as a married couple.

She is right in her blog post, we do get scrumped - that is a fact. But we also have dreams, dreams that we might day fly like an eagle (you know in the R Kelly song i'm talking about)

We also dream that we might day make paper plate bean skakers with glitter and glue and that these paper plate bean skakers would look nice and sparkly.

She is also right that we have snug times in the boat as well. But in this we also have dreams, dreams that we might day win a the Brentford break dancing grande', and we have been training many evenings for this.

So one year on we are close to achieving our goals, she gives me such herculean support that far from being like the hot Alan Cumming, she is more like a good wife who can do anything, and i love her for that. We also want to keep chickens on the top of our boat.

P.S I'm very tired from Bestival, i got very scrumped on herbals and other nasties. ;-)

xxxxxxxx

The end of the world as we know it.

So depart for my final festival of the year tonight for yet another weekend of selling oxygen and herbal highs to I could drop with exhaustion. Then on Monday morning I must commute in to work from the Isle of White, although precious Ferry time may allow me to get keen after a weekend of wallowing in the mud. All in all I have spent 14 days doing festivals this summer which is 2 weeks – roughly the amount of time needed to go to Burningman (which I have just missed)

Now I am thinking that the £800 quid that we have retained (as we have spent a fair wad of our festy cash already) is compensation for having missed the event of our lives. I mean if you’re going to be exhaust yourself at festivals then there may as well be a monetary motivation. NO! Compensation can get fucked, I feel like a lost soul but then what can you do. 2007 Has been a hard year in a lot of ways but I’ve loved it all the same, the added pressures of living on a boat have been both a burden and a blessing yet hopefully, after the watershed of the 2007 burn the balance will hopefully shift.

The first step to doing this will hopefully be a months time when we have finished painting our boat and sent dear Dougal on his way (although, this will admittedly be a sad occasion as well as he is going) but the foundations will be there all the same and I look forward to that with great hope and joy in my heart.

In any case I shouldn’t moan, what I should mention is that we did attend a lovely wedding this weekend and I personally wish Lucy and Kev all the love in the world for a life-long and happy marriage. Indeed, yes, the countdown does well and truly begin here.

xxx