Three generations of Josef's

Well that was quite a weekend. On Friday all was calm, me and my lady wife sat in the cratch of the boat, sometimes the odd fellow boater would come past and wave, make small talk, or generally nod. But all was quiet in preperation for the arrival of three generations worth of Josef's. We met them at Somerfield car park and baby Skye burst into tears when I sat in the back with her and directed Josh and Em to the Butts. Those who are not familiar with The Butts need to come and visit and familiarise themselves with it, post haste!

On board we served them tea, coffee, booze and various other drinks. Jess's dad Fred began to wax lyrical, spin yarns and twidle with his beard, the baby cooed and little Wayne asked lots of questions, he was an inquisitive little one indeed. However there scant time to enjoy the evening however as it was quite late by the time they arrived. Soon before you could say Uncle Barnaby Fred and Wayne were whisked off the the fancy holiday Inn before we bedded down for the night. Please note, booze was consumed before going to bed.

Saturday we awoke, paint brush and sand paper in hand ready to tackle the boat. Next door all was quiet as pur neighbours prepared for their home birth. Occasionally the odd mid wife or family member would come past eagerly strolling along the pontoon to get the latest updates. Starved of news we were! compltely starved! But the boat was calling us and we set to work. sanding and painting as the sun beat down on our increasingly grubby bodies. I looked at my family closely, working with them to get the job down. To complete the task I donned by pink flip flops. Fred was greatly impressed by this.

As the sun began to set we ceased work and made our way to the restaurant over the road to consume Italian food. Much was eaten. Spirits were high as we speared oilves and gobbled garlic bread before gorging on main courses that mostly consisted of pizza, occasionally i'd pause to have a sip of wine or sing to baby Skye. In particular her favourite tune, and indeed of all of ours was the old Northern classic coined by Fred.

Knees up mother brown!
Knees up Mother brown!
Knees up! Knees Up!
Don't get a breeze up!
Knees up mother brown!
HEY!

We settled the bill, had a quick smoke and went home. Our limbs were all weary from a hard days work and it was not long before the old man was whisked off back to the holiday inn for his nights rest. Wily Wayne was craftier this night, his burning desire was to sleep on the boat and he got his risk. Myself and and my lady wife entertained his slumber party desire as we slept on the Puw's whilst Wayne slept on the mattress on the floor. Josh and Em were less enthusiastic having smoked a hefty amount of reefa that day and proceeded to pass out.

The next day we all awoke to the sound of the our phones being rung continously by Fred demanding attention. Whilst Josh was once again called into action to collect him me, Jess and Wayne set about maknig bacon sarnies and putting the kettle on. Petrol and oil was purchased for the boat as we prepared to take her for her maiden cruise.

Once on the water we made our way up the grand union canal and cooked our roast on board as we moved. Locks were navigated and some cunty boaters were met inlcuding two ugly Scots who were snobby and rude and some middle class leisure cruisers wearing bad clothes. I hated them and wanted to kill them. The trip took a round six hours and was rounded off by Fred taking her into the basin on our way home to turn and spectacularly messing it up, abandoning ship and leaving us drifting towards the weir (again!) as we careered out of control. Luckily the marina warden was on hand to give me some sound advice to right the vessel in the wake of fleeing Fred's exit from the boat.

Meanwhile Josh was passed out and Skye, Em and Jess oblivious to this as they put the finishing touches to the roast and we pulled in. The roast was good, yummy in fact, there was stuffing roasties and some good British beef which me and Jess are trying to remain loyal to in the wake of foot and mouth. As we ate we reflected on a jolly old weekend. The baby had been born next door and the world welcomed an 8 pound Sophie. It was lovely to spend more time with the family, quality time that was done out of choice rather then some birthday obligation or because you'd been badgered into it.

Boats are fun. Pure and simple, they might be cramped but they unite people and provide superb novelty value. Cruising is a tad scary but in the end that doesn't matter too much if you've got lots of people involved to help. It was sad to see them all go.

Next up, V festival this weekend and no sleep, great!

P.S We have discovered that one of the people who lives in one of the canal side flat owns a skeleton that he uses as a close horse. At night he opens to doors on his balcony for all to see, last night he was dressed in a grey trench coat and a baseball cap. Apparently the skeltons name is Bob.