Turtle's graduation, Traduation.

With my head in pieces after the consumption of a vast amount of booze, noodles and fags after last nights London world cup binge-o-rama i stared at the tickets for my graduation and realised that i had an hour and a half till my ceremony began and that i made a drastic mistake and got the times wrong. An hour and a half to complete a two and a half hour drive to Cardiff.

Disaster! Oh shame, to hath worketh for so long..And now it seemed i would not get to attend the dull ceremony half of which i won't understand with seats as wide as a peanut...

Sensing destiny, or more likely fear of spending another day in Southampton we went anyway, secured a gown and hat and charged frantically to St Davids hall...Id missed my name being called by all of 10 minutes, but no worry, they told me that i could still make it! Owain Glyndor would be proud of me! I would be moved to graduate in the next ceremony.

And so it was that Matthew Turtle graduated with a bunch of journalim students (How ironic) watched by a couple of my friends who did sociology rather then by any of my history buddies..I was always a maverick, you know, always late in returning my books and getting whopping 50p fines strutting around the library like a peacock, copying other people's notes in lectures..You know, a rebel, the kind of person who refuses to use postit notes and uses regular folders instead of ring binders..Rebel..A man of Harlech.

So by the time we got to the history reception the whole place was completely deserted, so we helped ourselves to some styrophome cups, left over wine and sparkling water..Then in true tradtion mum and dad took me out for a meal..Mum remembered this upstairs Chinese restaurant that she used to eat at in 1977 (29 years ago) and tried to direct us there..Me and dad exchanged uncertain glances but true to form (Having been a rock all day) she got us there and true enough on the door of the Riverside Cantonese was the opening year '1977', The shock was palpable..

So all in all..I ended up doing the graduation my way and making the best of bad circumstances..Fuck doing it structured, id fully recommend the uncertain method, you get alot of sympathy, a free gown, lose some weight in stress and generally have a laugh about it..

xxx